Losing a loved one is never easy, but it is particularly difficult when the loss occurs near the holidays. Whether it has been one year or 20 years, you are likely to feel the loss much more acutely during the holiday season.
Although everyone grieves differently, it is important that you be kind to yourself and find the best way to cope with your emotions at this intense time of year. What can you do if eggnog and ho-ho-ho are just not on your radar during this festive season?
- Acknowledge your feelings. Your feelings simply are. You cannot hide from them; in fact, it is unhealthy to try. Regardless of when or where they come over you, acknowledge your feelings. Give voice to them. Let the memories flood your mind. Be grateful for them, even for angry or sad emotions. However, do not dwell. There is a big difference between allowing the feelings and memories to come to you, and making a concerted effort to conjure them. Grief has no prescribed timeline; there is no right or wrong way to grieve. But by deliberately clinging to the past and refusing to allow healing to occur, you are no longer living in the present – and you risk missing the extraordinary blessings present right now.
- Cry, if you need to cry. Some people have a real hang-up about crying in public, and tears do make certain folks uncomfortable. But if you need to cry, don’t stifle the urge. You may not want to begin a waterworks in the middle of a year-end review – but if the tears come unexpectedly, even in front of others, take a moment to acknowledge those feelings. Then take a couple of deep breaths and compose yourself. If you must excuse yourself from the room, do it. Everyone has experienced loss at one time or another, so you need not worry that people are judging you.
- Get support. Sometimes the best thing we can do is talk to someone about our grief. Be careful, though, not to be surprised or angry if those close to you have forgotten or appear insensitive about your loss. In the busyness of the season, they are understandably caught up in their own lives. But your close friends will be there for you. If you have no trusted confidant, you might want to consider a minister, counselor or representative from your Employee Assistance Program.
- Offer a prayer, blessing, or good thought for your loved one. Perhaps the feelings and memories come because your loved one needs your help with their transition … even years after their departure. Perhaps they want to remind you of something, or offer a warning. Bless their physical presence when they walked beside you, and bless their spirit presence now. Thank them for the gift that they have been in your life.
- Light a candle. Anyone who grew up Catholic is probably familiar with this one. It’s a beautiful way to acknowledge the Light of the Universe, and to be reminded that your loved one is now and always will be connected to that Light.
- Leave an empty chair at the dining table. Honor your loved one by leaving a literal space at the table for their spirit to join you and your family during your holiday dinner(s). You may find you only want to do this the first year, as new people and traditions arrive to fill the void in coming seasons. Know, though, that no one will ever take your loved one’s place.
- Give a gift or donation in their name. You may simply not be in the shopping spirit this season. Don’t feel bad or apologize for that. Validate your needs and honor them. Perhaps rather than purchasing gifts in the traditional manner, this year you can make a donation to a charity or organization that was special to your loved one.
- Write a letter to your loved one. Grief has many faces. Sadness. Joy at the memories. Anger that we are separated from our loved one. A great tool for healing is to write your loved one a letter, conveying to them all the emotions you are experiencing this season. If you miss them, tell them that. If you’re angry because they’re gone, acknowledge that. If there were things left unsaid, say them. Once written, you can burn the letter in a ceremony, bury it, or save it until you no longer need to keep it.
- Don’t be afraid to talk to your loved one. Demi Moore wasn’t the only person who talked to ghosts. Lots of us feel better if we simply speak our thoughts out loud to our departed loved ones. And make no mistake – they can hear us. They cannot talk back in the traditional sense, but if you ask your guides and their angels, you may see signs of their answers.
- Begin a new tradition. Perhaps decorating the tree was always your favorite time of year with your loved one. If it’s too painful, don’t get a tree this year. Hang a special wreath instead. If you’ve always used colored lights, get clear ones this time. If Grandpa’s favorite drink was apple cider, switch to cocoa. Play different music. Visit a different church, or attend the morning service rather than the evening service this year. Invite someone new over for the holidays. There are endless ways to create new memories, even as you acknowledge your loved one and honor the old memories.
- Create a memory book. Think about your loved one’s favorite holiday traditions, songs, foods, etc. Create a memory book in their honor. Look through photo albums and letters. Sketch pictures, or create a collage from magazine photos. Let their spirit infuse you as you build a memory book that honors them and provides a way for you to channel your grief.
Scott White
http://www.articlesbase.com/religion-articles/dealing-with-loss-at-the-holidays-80202.html
Balinese battle dance clip from “Gamelan, Garuda & Ganesh”, a free Intrepid Berkeley Explorer video of Balinese dance, music & cultural highlights; plus Java’s Buddhist and Hindu World Heritage Sites. To enjoy all of this film, plus over 30 more, free, non-commercial, streaming travel videos from every continent, and still pictures, please ask a search engine for:
Intrepid Berkeley Explorer
Duration : 1 min 22 sec
http://www.squidoo.com/disneyhalloweencostumesforgirls Disney Halloween Costumes for Girls
Duration : 1 min 7 sec
Nate in his halloween costume
Duration : 2 min 38 sec
Ripped this from youtube… I still think these a real ghosts… this guys arguments for why these videos are fake aren't very good…
Duration : 4 min 50 sec
Some animals at the Brookfield, Ill. zoo got halloween treats early this week. Gorillas and bears wasted no time chowing down on the pumpkins, while the tigers tossed them around like soccer balls. (Oct. 28)
Duration : 0:1:25
Michael Myers escapes from the sanitarium, and returns to Haddonfield, Illinois to search for his only living relative.
What do people eat for halloween ? Other than candy ?
Give me a specific list of foods, please. Be ironic…
In other words, people have a tendency to eat baked or
fried chicken, on a Sunday. So what do people eat
on Halloween, other than candy ? What is the typical
dinner for that holiday? Best answer wins.
Whatever they like.
What do people eat for halloween ? Other than candy ?
Give me a specific list of foods, please. Be ironic…
In other words, people have a tendency to eat baked or
fried chicken, on a Sunday. So what do people eat
on Halloween, other than candy ? What is the typical
dinner for that holiday? Best answer wins.
Whatever they like.
Call me sad but I could never get too thrilled for Dorothy when she won out over the Wicked Witch of the West. Those sad little feet sticking out from under the cabin never told the whole story and there had to be more to her than that awful cackle. What motivated her? What strange combination of birth and social environment brought her to this sad end?
I really enjoyed Gregory Maguire’s acclaimed 1995 novel, Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West because it took me back to the land of Oz, and filled a gap for me with its parallel universe to the familiar origina written by L. Frank Baum and first published as The Wonderful Wizard of Oz in 1900.
So imagine my pleasure when I went online and ordered my Wicked tickets. Wicked is to Maguire’s book what The Wizard of OZ was to Baum’s. My Wicked tickets, when they arrived in the mail, proved to be anything but wicked tickets. Rather they were Wicked tickets to a whole new world of magic, mystery and music that recaptured my childhood wonderment before the Wizard of Oz crushed it in favor of dreary Kansas.
My Wicked tickets would let me in to the incredible untold story of a fantasy friendship between two girls who first meet at Shiz University. Shades of Harry Potter and Billy Bunter I know but the age-old literary device of separating youngsters from the adult world works for me. My Wicked tickets introduced me to the beautiful, blonde and very popular Glinda and the complex, misunderstood and bright green girl, Elphaba.
My Wicked tickets let me follow these witches through an encounter with The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, and on to where their friendship reaches a separation point and their lives take very different paths. Glinda’s real world obsession with celebrity sees her seduced by power while Elphaba’s ‘true grit’ to remain true to herself, and to her peer group, will have surprising and disturbing consequences for her future which we know is waiting for her at the end of the rainbow. Their surreal adventures in Oz will ultimately see them fulfill their ultimate roles as Glinda The Good and Elphaba the Wicked Witch of the West.
The advanced publicity that came with my Wicked tickets described the musical as ‘a rich and triumphant feat of imagination and allegory’, Gregory Maguire’s brilliant work ofimagination has been critically acclaimed. The entertainment press say ‘while weaving a seductive web of fantasy and fun, Maguire also manages to score serious points about the nature of being an outsider in our society’. I say, my Wicked tickets finally resolved some unfinished business from the Wizard of Oz.
Wicked lives up to its billing as a spectacle. It has won many awards as a stage adaptation, with music & lyrics by Stephen Schwartz and has become the most spellbinding and popular new musical in years. I definitely agree with the Evening Standard that Wicked tickets will pay you back with ‘a remarkable kaleidoscope of magical shocks, surprises and sensations, Wicked works like a dream.’
Lina Smith
http://www.articlesbase.com/sports-and-fitness-articles/wicked-tickets-to-a-new-world-747439.html
